Saying yes to everyone is burning you TF out. I cannot even tell you the amount of times I have said yes and immediately regretted it afterwards.
I overcommit WAY too often. The art of saying "NO"... we don't know her, but we want to.
I don't ever want to be rude or give the impression like I don't care.
So what do I do instead? Obvi- be rude to myself and don't care about the importance of my mental energy, physical energy, and time! Sounds like a sh** deal.
Do you also feel like your default answer is always "yes"?
RELAX, It's a common struggle, especially for those of us who wear many hats in our personal and professional lives. As a business consultant, wife, daughter, furmom, human... I've learned the hard way that saying yes to everyone and everything can lead to burnout faster than you can say "overcommitment."
Let's face it: saying yes feels good. It's a way to show that we're helpful, accommodating, and caring. But what happens when that yes turns into immediate regret? Been there, done that, and got the burnout badge to prove it.
I was propelled to write this post for us overcommiters out there because of what one of my Tuesdays looked like- and it threw me over the edge:
-8:15AM Doctor Appointment
-10AM Helping my mother close on her house
-2:30PM Call
-4PM Another Doctor Appointment
-5PM Another Call
^^^ and this is a day that I do to myself almost 3-5 times a week.
The truth is this: overcommitting doesn't make us better people; it just makes us exhausted ones. We fear being rude or uncaring if we say no, so we stretch ourselves thin, sacrificing our time, energy, and sanity in the process.
But here's the thing: saying no isn't rude; it's self-preservation. It's about setting boundaries and prioritizing well-being. It's about recognizing limits and respecting them. And guess what? It's okay to do so.
So, how do we break free from our own vicious cycle of overcommitment?
Here are a few strategies that I constantly remind myself of:
Know Your Priorities: Take a step back and identify what truly matters. Focus on the activities and commitments that align with your personal & business goals and values. If that means being a couch potato for 5 days while you work? So be it. Nobody knows your day to day routines except you, and a lot of times have no idea what a day in the life is like. It's up to you to create priorities that keep you AND your small business healthy.
Practice Assertiveness: Saying no doesn't have to be confrontational or apologetic. Be firm, polite, and honest. Remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your well-being.
Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries around your time and energy. Learn to say no to things that don't serve you or simply don't align with your priorities. Protect your schedule like it's a sacred treasure. This one is THE hardest for me personally, because I always find an excuse to break down my boundaries. Especially when it comes to the ones I love most!
Learn to Delegate: You don't have to do it all alone. You absolutely can have it all without doing it all, if that makes sense. Delegate tasks whenever possible, whether it's for your business or in your personal life. Surround yourself with a support system and share the heavy weights.
Practice Self-Compassion: It's okay to make mistakes, including overcommitting. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself, and learn from your experiences. You know that saying that everyone uses: self-care isn't selfish; it's necessary for your well-being? THIS IS THE TRUTH! Nobody can (or should) get mad at you for being honest.
Saying no isn't about being selfish or uncaring; it's about being self-aware and respectful of your own limits... something so much more important than it sounds.
By learning to say no gracefully, you're not only preserving your energy, but also empowering yourself to live a more balanced and fulfilling life.
So let's go girl, it's time to embrace the art of saying no AND reclaim time, energy, and peace of mind.
We deserve it.
XO,
Lauren
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